An Inventory of Self.

The Game gurus tell us that she should never qualify ourselves to women. This is good advice as far as it goes. Does Brad Pitt sell himself? He is Brad Pitt! Our problem is that we are not Brad and so cannot carry ourselves in quite the same way. It is true that we do not need movie star looks but we do need movie star confidence. Some of us can fake this to a degree. I personally cannot as I have a deep seated fear of being a fake which makes me a bad pickup artist but probably a better human being. I could beat myself up for my approach anxiety or I could simply resolve to develop confidence based upon reality. This takes longer to develop than 'state' but probably does the individual more good. The only way to do this is to look upon ourselves as a product to be sold. What is desirable about this product (us) and who is our market. This requires realistic expectations and a degree of self knowledge. Do we know what we offer?

Most of us have never really asked ourselves what our gift to the world is. Sure. We know what our qualifications are and we have some idea of our strengths but it is rare to find someone (in England at least) who can talk about them. It is vital we do so. How are we to sell ourselves to employers, lovers or friends if we cannot describe our product? It is all very well looking into the mirror and saying good things about oneself but it is better still to be able to quantify what we bring to the world.

Once we know our product- many wonderful things happen. We can relax and genuinely enjoy the company of women. We also develop confidence at work. There can be no better compliment you could make to an women than simply to enjoy her company. This is the one thing that cannot be faked and cannot be mistaken for manipulation. Something similar happens at work. The happy employee inspires confidence.

One way to develop this knowledge is to do some boasting on Facebook. Everybody does this so you will not seem full of yourself. In fact Facebook is a community of braggarts where everyone speaks and no one listens so it is quite unlikely anyone will read what you write at all!

Next time you are tempted to post the trivia of your life on Facebook simply say 'DHV' to yourself and think of the person you are portraying. There is no need to mislead anyone- simply show your best side rather than your worst. In fact this can become a form of positive affirmation that is more powerful than telling yourself good things in the mirror. By presenting yourself as focused individual who is going places (and you are this person part of the time at least) you become the person you wish to be. You will realise you have skills that are not reflected in your qualifications. Brag about this when it is topical and list these skills on your Facebook Notes. I have a section that I have called 'Non Qualifications' where I will list qualities that employers, friends and lovers find desirable but cannot be described in a C.V.

The real point is the thought that goes into what you write. You will be forced to ask fundamental questions about your identity and what you offer the world. By the end you will understand all that is best about yourself and will no longer be embarrassed to tell it.