Principles of old man's game.

Life is both easier and harder when you are young. You are good looking (but feel you are ugly). You are full of the certainties of youth (but doubt yourself). You come across beautiful women every day (but cannot talk to them anywhere).

Most pick up theory assumes a young lifestyle. Much of it is based around nightclubs. These are brutal environments where a beta male has his status slammed in his face over and over and where his raging hormones compel him to remain.

There are two main factors that determine your success or failure if you are over 40. The first is opportunity (the number of available women you meet). The second is identity (the desirability of your life.)

Opportunity is quite simple to engineer. Simply develop a social life. Go out often and always go to new places.

Identity is a more subtle thing. You need to ask yourself why a woman would wish to have your life. Is your life an adventure? Are you well traveled? Are you genuinely interested in many things?

Schools of Game

Game is not a monolith. Game consists of several schools, many of which hold conflicting values. I will list the most prominent tendencies along with my (imperfect) understanding of them. I have listed them in the approximate order in which they evolved.

SPEED SEDUCTION.

This is an NLP based method that aims to create an emotional bubble within which she is free to do the thing she wishes to do anyway. It was invented by a very bright guy by the name of Ross Jeffries who was the model for the Tom Cruse character in the Magnolia film.

Ross likes to stress the hypnosis angle and give the impression he is dealing in something illicit. This could cause a great deal of trouble for us all as it gives the feminists the opportunity to cry 'rape' whenever a woman is seduced.

Ross Jeffries also went through an (allegedly) Satan worshiping period that he seems to have outgrown. During this period he gave off a very unpleasant and strange energy.

I do not believe speed seduction is abusive. The so called 'hypnotism' is not what most people think of as hypnotism. It does not place a women in a helpless state where she can be commanded to do things against her interests. It simply allows the woman to access emotional states that are not normally available to her.

My problem with SS is that it places the seducer in his own head. It is difficult for a man to enjoy a woman's company while he is running 'pattens' on her. In fact a really decent man can feel like a sexual predator even when he is quite innocent.

This is not to say that speed seduction does not work. I am quite sure that it can get women into bed but this may not be your true goal. My own goal was to be respected by women and treated as an equal and I cannot see this happening by running complex scripts and pattens on them.

MYSTERY METHOD.

This is a 'revenge of the nerds' enterprise that breaks attraction down into a huge number of factors and steps with an entire language to go with them. You will hear talk of M3, A2, DHV, PushPull, Kino- on and on.

One gets the impression that many men involved with this school spend their time in nerd lairs with other men. This is not to say that they do not get plenty of sex- but most of their relationships with women are scripted and (to my mind) empty. The chief satisfaction seems to be recognition from other men.

Simply knowing some of this stuff can be destructive. It becomes possible to interpret almost everything through the mystery method technology and this makes one a nerd almost despite oneself. It is hard to get out of ones head when everything one does can be plotted on a graph with circles and arrows.

Mystery Method was developed for the superficial and highly competitive sport of seducing hot nightclub babes. Much of it is concerned with the AMOG- the art of destroying other men in the eyes of women. This is hurtful and castrating when done to oneself. If you have suddenly found yourself feeling foolish and low status in a mixed group you may well have been AMOG'd.

REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS.

This has evolved into a highly natural style that does not aim to tear other men down directly but to outshine them. It has greater application outside of game as 'core confidence' makes one more able in many ways. This is my own preferred method right now.

AUTHENTIC MAN PROJECT.

This aims to help a man develop 'presence' and to be more himself. It deals with esoteric concepts that seem to verge on magic.

There are many individual teachers and products that sell combinations of the above. Generally speaking the early methods produce a large number of quick seductions (often sucking in unstable women) while the later ones are more relationship oriented.

The Red Shoes.

There is a fairy tale of a girl who wished to dance so much that she bought a pair of magic red shoes. As long as she wore these shoes she danced- but she had no way to take them off.

So she danced and danced. The blessing became a curse.

I have spent four days or so in a heightened state- mostly induced by watching videos on pick up. This is a new world for me. It seems that 'state' is contagious. First it is transferred from the program to me and then it is transferred from me to everyone I meet.

Viewing these videos is something of a mystery all of its own. On one level they make total sense but on the other hand they seem virtually meaningless. While viewing them I entered state and felt that I had been given some sort of eternal truth. Even talking about 'state' while I am not in state makes it seem a mirage. It is the condition of being totally 'right'. Everything I say is exactly what needs to be said and everything I do is appropriate.

While in this condition I met and then slept with a Brazilian/Colombian one time children's TV presenter who was in London to become a model and actress. She was just 22.

The trouble seems to be that state requires an expenditure of emotional energy. While in state I feel as high as a crack cocaine addict. This is actually a good analogy. Now that I have come off the boil the whole thing seems slightly irrelevant and futile. Furthermore I now seem to be more socially inept than I was before.

The really interesting thing about Real Social Dynamics (or at least the higher level stuff I have been viewing) is that it is not really about seducing women at all. It is all about reaching and sustaining 'state' which they often call the Nimbus.

In fact the nimbus seems to be its own reward. Life is more vivid and exciting. Possibilities seem infinite. There is a tendency to spend money one does not have and launch ventures that I am not qualified to complete. In this respect it seems similar to the 'up' part of a manic depressive (bipolar) condition. It may be that people simply become addicted to this 'up'.

It is thrilling to discover one can do this sort of thing- and very unusual to go from nothing to an apparent (but possibly illusionary) mastery. I wonder how I will feel if I realise that it was nothing but beginners luck and self delusion.

This thought compels me to pump myself into state once again- simply to prove that I am not a self deluding buffoon.

But what if I am not deluding myself?

What if the nimbus is real? What if I need to pursue models and actresses to maintain it? What if I sometimes succeed?

Would this be heaven or would it be hell?

I have a feeling I will find out. This is a dance that I have started and it is not clear how I could end it.

I become a Labrador puppy.

I have never been successful with women but it would be more honest to say that I had given up.

I decided to deal with this problem by studying the pickup gurus. This placed an extra layer of theory on top of my excuses. Most of these guys were much younger than me and recommended approaching women in nightclubs and grabbing their attention with a variety of flashy tricks.

It was absolutely fascinating and I sat in the corner of the room and saw everything in a whole new light.

Nevertheless.. nothing changed for me. Until last week.

I had recently lost my job and had time to study- an boy, is there a lot of study in pick up! Pick up is a science invented by nerd. These nerds studied the secrets of the so called 'naturals' who did all the right things by instinct. You cannot ask a natural what his secret is- he will probably have no idea. He cannot understand the problem. Girls love sex, right?

There are a number of systems that will mimic the attraction switches native to naturals. Unfortunately they tended to put me into my head and make me more nerdy than before.

The Natural does not 'try'. The Natural simply 'is'. This is why he is so bewitching to the female species.

How do you get from one state to the other? Faith. This is not faith in God but faith in the system. I felt something very strange happen to me as I listened to the 'blueprint decoded'. It felt that somehow the organs in my chest were being rearranged. It became blindingly obvious that I had created the entire problem myself.

This was not an intellectual understanding- I had understood this for some time.

This was not positive thinking or hype.

This was entering a parallel universe.

I was so excited that I joined a singles meetup (meetup.com) and headed out in the calm certainty that everything would be different.

And it was... I met the women that only Naturals meet. Intelligent, thoughtful, sexy and strangely transfixed by all that I said.

Even stranger.. this was not surprising to me. It was as if this had been happening all of my life and I would have been surprised at any woman who was not interested in me.

I enjoyed the attention but felt no desire to set up multiple dates. This was not fear but an abundance mentality. I felt that this attention would always be there for me so I was in no hurry. I felt like a Labrador puppy running from girl to girl- and loved by them all. Labradors are lovable because they have no fear. They think you will love them and so you cannot help but do so. Naturals are quite similar and I seemed to have become one without any real work on my part.

Actually, becoming a natural was one of my main life goals.

I even had a strange 'psychic' experience that I have not yet worked out. I could feel the most delicious sexual energy coming from each women- but most strongly from an Indian hippy chick who was a member of a law of attraction group- she was drawing men to her by simple desire.

Well.. since then my life has been fantastic. I talk to women on trains and buses but mainly on meetup groups. They are all friendly and if I find them attractive I make love to them. Sometimes they say no but it is taken as a compliment and not sexual harassment.

I am going out again tonight (meetup again). I will talk to many women and I may go home with one. In fact I am not bothered much either way. I will simply enjoy the moment like a Natural.

I would like you to look the photograph that was taken on yet another meetup. I am engaged in a three way conversation between a German girl, a sweet Japanese girl and an Italian. I am a middle aged man who is overweight and cheaply dressed and my facial expressions seem to be deeply weird- and yet I seem to have become a natural. Like every other natural I have no idea what is going on. It is simply that every woman I meet now seems to be friendly.

I suppose I should be afraid of slipping back to my old ways and yet my heart says the change is permanent. I will try not to ruin it with thought.

I have not written this to boast but to give you hope. Most of my readers are younger and fitter than me. Look at the photograph and realise that you can do anything this fat fool can do.