Where do Men Going Their own Way go?

All the best MGTOW blogs disappear sooner or later. I always promised myself that I would not do this with my own effort -Carnival of Reaction but it has happened anyway.

It is a natural progression. Men Going Their Own Way are actually Nice Guys. They have given so much of themselves that there is nothing left. They simply had to retreat because they were utterly exhausted. Most of them had given everything they had and so they were empty.

MGTOW was not a choice for them. It was survival.

Most of the time MGTOW works. The writers recover and look to the world. Many even become boyfriend material, fall in love and suddenly the world looks good again. This time they keep a little of themselves back and no not let themselves be abused. They delete their blog with no explanation.

Many of my old posts were written in amazement at the willingness of men to be managed by women. It was not anger that made me write but surprise that so few could see it. It was simply interesting to me.

Nevertheless this is not the way the posts read to me now.

I came across as defeated, bitter and angry. These were not emotions I was aware of within myself but I think they must have been there. I wanted to delete the lot.

Nevertheless I remembered my promise to myself- and saved as many of my posts as I felt I could. They have been transferred to this site and the old site closed.

Maybe someone should make it his business to save the best MGTOW posts out there. They will almost certanly dissapear in a puff of electrons one morning if this is not done.

Interview with an escape artist.

One man who I admire and who lives without compromise is the blogger behind the Heretical Sex blog, Men's Links and Mental Abuse.org. He has pretty much exorcised western women from his life and is currently planning to marry a Philippine woman (not the one in the photo). I thought you might like to hear his experiences.


1) What are the main differences you have found between women in the UK and other countries? How did you become aware of them and where do you think the differences come from?

I was living with a British woman for many years, and I didn't realise that things could be any different. I had always been involved with the Left and was very sympathetic to feminist ideas for many years. I came from a working-class background, and my parents always taught me that education was the escape route out of poverty. When I arrived at university, I was very taken with all those middle-class daughters. That was the kind of girl I aspired to be with, and pretty soon I had set up home with one of them. I got a good job, and I was living my parents’ dream. I soon found that the middle-class is actually not always a very pleasant place to be, particularly if you’re a man, but I must admit the food is better. I found it shallow, materialistic and female-dominated. I found myself at endless dinner parties where we would all sit around cooing over each other’s Ikea tableware and discussing house-prices. This is really not the life I wanted. It had stability, but it was superficial and unsatisfying.

I learned the hard way that feminists make very bad partners, because when it comes down to it, they regard men as the enemy. Western women, schooled in this way of thinking, are trained from birth to think of nothing but themselves. They regard men simply as a resource to be plundered. A man's primary responsibility is still towards his wife and children, but a woman's primary responsibility is now towards herself and other women. This makes an equal relationship with a Western woman impossible, despite their endless bleating about equality.

I gave my partner everything I had, and made years of self-sacrifice for the relationship. She gave me nothing back, and turned her back on me in the end. When I started to withdraw my co-operation she became very abusive, and I eventually left her. When problems started to appear, the only response she knew was coercion. The obvious solution – supporting her partner and standing up for her marriage – was simply not an option for her. That would have meant contradicting her middle-class feminist friends and her life-long political indoctrination.

After a bad but inevitable split, I unexpectedly found myself single in London with money in my pocket, and I went out on the dating scene. I had a good experience, and I began to decide what kind of relationship I actually wanted with women. In the past I had allowed the woman to control the relationship to a very large extent. When I was in my late teens I would basically go out with anyone who would have me. This time, I began to focus on my own expectations and needs. You have to learn how to be single, not to fear being alone. After years of co-dependent misery and servitude, I was delighted to be single, and I wasn't about to give it up lightly. London being what it is, I happened to meet a lot of foreign women. This was partly by choice. I’d had enough of arrogant middle-class British women, obsessed with nothing but themselves.
I noticed that foreign women were actually significantly different. They have not been trained from birth to think of men as the enemy. They believe in marriage and the family, and they believe in pleasing their husbands, rather than controlling and undermining them. I very quickly decided that I much preferred them.
They are also much better lovers in my experience. In other parts of the world, sex is regarded as an art-form. Ironically, sexuality has always been an important source of power for women, so why feminists have tried to persuade women to abandon this is a strange quirk of history. The English-speaking world is a puritanical place at the best of times, and feminism has made this infinitely worse, with its insistence that all heterosexual sex is essentially coercive. It’s interesting that George Orwell in 1984 invented an organization called the Women’s Anti-Sex League. I do believe that the Protestant countries are the worst. The existing anti-sex, anti-pleasure discourse in these countries feeds very well into an anti-male, hydrophobic feminist agenda.

Where do the differences come from? As I said before, religion and culture play a part. Buddhists don’t care so much about the 'sins of the flesh'. Catholics commit them and then go to confession on a Sunday - problem solved. Protestants would rather sit around being miserable.

The decline of the Western family is another factor. Marriage lies at the core of family life, and if the woman cares about her marriage, she will put some effort into it. A lot of Western women think that making an effort to please your husband means demeaning yourself and betraying the sisterhood. Feminism has indoctrinated them for years into believing that you can’t be happily married and be a good feminist; you can’t treat your husband well and be a good feminist; you can’t really even be heterosexual and be a good feminist.

The West really is in an increasing crisis of social breakdown, and feminism is largely responsible for this.
The feminist movement can be regarded as a powerful trade organization, like a union. It attempts to set the price of access to women. It keeps trying to force the price ever-higher while women are expected to deliver less and less. That is why they object so strongly to any kind of commercial sex; it undercuts middle-class women.

Man-hating, hydrophobic lesbians have gained control of the feminist movement. They have
brain-washed Western women into thinking that marriage is oppressive, they should not have families, and their husbands are coercing them. This has the effect of further undermining marriage and the family, which is of course the intention. If the rank and file of women are prepared to listen to this crap that’s their problem. They’re too stupid to be with me.

One way to combat this tendency is simply to take a leaf out of their own book and boycott them. As far as I am concerned, they have priced themselves out of the market.

However, I don’t intend to remain celibate or turn gay. There are plenty of women out there who are willing to have normal heterosexual relationships. If they are mainly in (or from) foreign countries, then so be it.
Many men in the movement are talking about a ‘marriage strike’. I agree, but as far as I am concerned, it only applies to Western feminists. Once enough Western women realise the game is up, they’ll drop feminism like a hot brick. We are already seeing clear evidence of their Bridget Jones anxieties about ending up on the shelf.

Like all trade unions, in their efforts to push the price ever-upwards, they reckoned without the effects of globalization; if labour costs are too high in one country, employers will simply go elsewhere. Feminists have assumed that they can push the price ever-upwards because men simply have no choice, and have nowhere else to go. They are wrong about that. Look to Asia. Find out what real women are like.

Perhaps another factor is that South east Asian women face competition from an active sex industry. People of both sexes routinely go for massage, and for men, it is very easy to get a little more with that. Many men also routinely keep mistresses, so perhaps wives feel that they have to make some effort.

Western princesses don't feel that they should have to make any effort at all. The mere fact that they have deigned to grace us with their presence should be enough to guarantee them a free meal ticket for life.
I'm currently mulling over the idea that women hate competition. There seems to be some empirical evidence for this, and it certainly explains a lot of the feminist movement's actions.

I used to spend my life running around trying to please a screaming, spoiled princess with the mental age of a five year old. I was the only one working, and I was supporting her economically. I would often come home from work and get a mouthful of abuse because I had brought the wrong kind of Parmesan, then I would receive a list of household chores to perform. Now I come in after the office, or a night out with my friends, and my South East Asian partner greets me wearing my favourite lingerie, tells me that she missed me, pours me a drink and hands it to me, helps me shower, and then leads me to the bedroom, where she gives me a massage. All I have to do in exchange for this is to behave normally, and do what my parents taught me to do, which is to love my wife and take care of her. Needless to say, I love her with all my heart, and I make every effort to please her. I don’t want to go out with my friends very often when I know she’s at home. What a contrast. I haven’t ‘forced’ her to do this; that’s just what many South East Asian women are like. Of course, feminists would say she’s demeaning herself, and I’m oppressing her – but that is only because she is undercutting them. She also has an office job pretty similar to mine, and she is, of course, free to go out with her girlfriends, and I welcome her home in the best ways I can; a marriage is about give and take – it always has been. A lot of Western women think that this means you give and they take.
It doesn't have to be like this gentlemen; there is another way.

2) Men need to understand they are marrying not just one woman but her entire family as well. How should this be managed and how would you deal with the infamous 'my buffalo has been struck by lightning' letters?

To deal with your first question first. This is just a feature of the decline of the Western family. A century ago the same thing applied here; you were marrying into a family. Now we think of ourselves as individuals, and we expect to marry individuals. If you go to a country where marriage is still valued, you will probably find the extended family comes with it. If you want to resist the decline of the Western family, then you will find that having a family is one of the consequences.

Having a large extended family has both pros and cons. There is more responsibility and less privacy; but there is also much more support, less isolation, and less marriage breakdown. You pays your money and you takes your choice. It was just the same here in your grandfather’s time.

Besides, when I was with my British partner, I seemed to spend a great deal of time looking after members of her family. This isn’t any worse; in fact it’s considerably better.

To take your second point about demands for money. Simple. Don’t get involved with someone who makes them. My partner has a professional career very similar to mine. A lot of Western men seem to go over to Asia and marry prostitutes. This is almost always going to be a mistake in my view. You wouldn’t marry a prostitute in this country, so why on Earth would you do it in Asia? Prostitutes are women who want to extract money from you, and sex is only one means of doing that. And of course, you can never expect her to be faithful, unless you really are naive.

One of the things you need in a successful relationship is to set clear boundaries and stick to them. Just tell her straight, I don’t pay for my own parents’ new air conditioner, and I’m not paying for yours.

The stuff about the sick buffalo and the mother’s operation is something I’ve only ever read about, but my feeling is that it is never true. It’s emotional extortion. The answer is simply to have none of it. She is probably telling the same story to half a dozen other men. Feminists of course would support this kind of extortion, because it means that the 'oppressed' woman is getting the better of the 'exploitative' man who has fallen in love with her, and if men get their fingers burned at the hands of prostitutes and Asian women, they will be reluctant to go back a second time, thus helping to shore up Western women's monopoly over Western men's access to sex.

3) Many men say that you should never take her back to the UK. I know that you are planning to do so. How are you planning to manage the risk?

I don’t see that there are any particular risks. I actually met my partner at work in an office in London, and our relationship is a pretty conventional one; she just happens to be foreign. She is not a prostitute that I picked up in some bar while I was back-packing around the flesh-pots of the Orient. I would be more worried about marrying a Western middle-class princess. Way more worried.
I’m not looking for something strange and exotic; I’m actually looking for a conventional marriage based on mutual love, trust and respect. I have come to believe that that is hard to find in the West, because of the way that women are encouraged to think and behave. The sad thing is that this is also what women want, but the feminist movement won’t allow them to have it, and they don’t have the guts or good sense to stand up for themselves. They can’t betray the sisterhood.

4) Is there a risk of seeing just what you wish to see when you wish to see in a strange culture?

Absolutely. You have a duty to learn your wife’s language as well as you can, and to respect her culture, and that of her family. Unless you gain an understanding of her culture, you’ll never really know her. It’s important not to be naive.

I don’t accept any of this social constructionist nonsense that the Left preaches. Culture is a fairly thick veneer laid on top of biology, and biology is the same the world over. Wherever you go in the world, people’s brains are wired up in fundamentally the same way.

Language and culture differences will tend to create communication difficulties, so these need to be overcome as early as possible. But fundamentally, if you don’t get on with each other, it’s not going to work. Marriage to a foreigner is still a marriage like any other. Always remember that you are marrying a human being, not some fantasy figure.

Contrary to what many believe in the West, both male and female, Asian women are not compliant sex dolls. They are human beings, and they act like human beings.

5) What is the image of the Englishman abroad?

Well it is bound to vary from place to place. The British will be well-known in their former colonies, and less well-known elsewhere. We’re not too popular in the Middle-East right now from what I hear. In the Far East, I believe that the UK is seen as a fairly desirable country to live in, but it is second-fiddle to the USA, which is in many ways pretty accurate.

I read that all over the world, Western men are regarded as the best husbands, but no-where in the world are Western women regarded as the best wives. I'm not at all surprised.

6) How do women in the UK react to your search?

As I said, it's not so much a search, I just found I preferred Asian women.

Well, a lot of them disapprove of it. I’ve been asked several times, “What is it with all these foreign girlfriends?”, “What’s wrong with British women?” I think a few of them are worried that if everyone takes my attitude, they will be in real trouble. And they are quite right. Asian women out-compete them in every way.

So much so, that there are moves afoot in the US to pass laws banning American men from marrying foreign women! This law was tacked onto VAWA II
http://www.mangosauce.com/relationships/foreign_brides_feminism_meets_fascism.php%20.

My only criticism of the article is its title; feminism and fascism have been friends for years.This legislation is being sold as protecting the foreign women’s rights,but it has nothing to do with it. It is about protecting American women’s monopoly.“The one thing that both supporters and opponents of the IMBRA bill can agree on is that these rules weren't drawn up to regulate foreign dating sites. They are intended to drive them out of business ” Consider also the fact that we are constantly being warned off visiting places like Thailand. It is just for paedophiles; anyone who goes there is a sexual deviant; it is full of HIV infection, etc, etc. This is no accident. Feminists hate the place. In fact, it's a beautiful country,full of friendly people. This is economic protectionism, pure and simple. When trade unions realise that their own jobs are being threatened by 'cheap foreign imports', they demand that the market is rigged in order to artificially protect them.The same thing is happening here. Protectionism perpetuates poverty in other countries and weakens the economy here. It cannot last forever. What feminists are engaging in is protectionism.
http://http//www.mangosauce.com/relationships/poverty_thai_women_foreign_marriages.php


Thank you very much.

What is a Gentleman?

A gentleman was originally a man who was 'gentle'- meaning someone who had no need to work. He was unlikely to be gentle in the modern sense because most of them gained their wealth by doing the Kings dirty work- killing a rival or engaging in war on the Kings behalf. Men of action were preferred over the more reflective type- and this bias continues to the modern day with the public school emphasis on physical games.
All in all, they were probably a repellent bunch- brutal, stupid and leeches upon the poor. You need only add 'male feminist' to this list and you would have a complete list of everything I most dislike!

Fortunately the word evolved along with the economic system. The gentry (same root word) evolved a system of ethics to avoid being slaughtered by their serfs as was happening elsewhere in Europe. This involved treating others with respect, and cultivating a specific form of modesty. This was not true modesty but involved establishing status by making great play of being disinterested in it.

Most people who visit the Queen (a sort of female gentleman) are greatly impressed by her modesty and the fact she pours the tea herself. This sort of modesty only impresses when a certain status has already been established. If you were to visit me for tea, you would find me just as modest but would not be nearly as impressed!

The gentleman, therefore must be a person of power- or the modesty would have no effect. Equally, a person assuming the persona of a gentleman assumes an aura of power by doing so.

It is this aura of power, and danger, that differentiates the gentleman from the nice guy. The nice guy signals his low status by treating women well- but the gentleman does the opposite. Gentlemen gained their power by violence and ruthlessness- while nice guys were simply trained to be nice by their lowly role in life.

This is the real reason why nice guys are treated like dirt by women- and why they love the gentleman with a hint of cruelty.

One such fictional creation is John Steed from the Avengers TV series. He is the ruthless one of the group- but hides it through good manners.

Another such character is James Bond. Almost all women prefer the James Bond who treats women the worst- Shaun Connery. In these films Shaun uses women for his sexual pleasure, is quite prepared to kill them. There is even the hint that he raped one of his conquests before she fell for him. Nevertheless he never gets upset or angry at them- this would lower his status in the eyes of his female fans.

I am not suggesting that we treat women the way. Sexual fantasy is poor guide to ethics. Nevertheless we can still learn a great deal. Women are never more than passing pleasures for James- he is intent on saving the world and will drop them in a moment if they get in the way. We cannot imagine a bond girl daring to act crazy with him or make his life difficult- this is because he always has other options.

A gentleman, then, is a powerful man. He is a man who has the strength to take them out of their own craziness while they are with him. He may sexually obsess women because he can never be owned or controlled by them.

In short, he is emotionally self sufficient and a Man Going His Own Way.

Debrett's Guide for the Modern Gentleman

From Low Omega to High Omega.

If you are reading this article then you are not a true Low Omega. Low Omegas are happy in their misery. You feel shit because your life sucks.

Simply knowing that your life sucks (and not you) can help a great deal. You stop being angry at yourself (the root cause of depression) and start being angry at the world.

In other words- you have just moved from Low Omega to High Omega.

Congratulations!

What is the Drama Triangle?

There are three points to the triangle. This does not mean that every drama has three participants. Dramas can involve as few as two or many millions of people- but the roles remain the same.

Suppose you were the rescuing sort (as I am) and you rescue a woman who claimed to be living in fear of her boyfriend. You have entered the drama triangle! She moves in and begins to turn your life upside down (victims attract trouble like iron filings to a magnet). Men are shouting through the letter box, legal letters are arriving and your credit record has been destroyed.

You ask her to leave- thinking that you can end the drama in this way. Unfortunately you have simply changed roles and am now the persecutor! The rescuer role is now vacant and will be quickly filled as the victim finds another rescuer to replace you. You are now the bad guy!

Spiritual orgasm

If you had told me at sixteen what I am about to tell you now- I would not have believed you. I would not have believed that life could be as rich and satisfying as I now know it it be.

What is this wonderful thing that I have found? I have simply learned to walk around London with my eyes open.

Last week I did a great deal of it.

Tuesday. I was at a site in the City (an area within London that has its own little government rather like the Vatican). I had to walk to another area and could take my time about it. I walked towards the river between the Wool Tower and the mummy of Jimmy Garlik. I passed through a courtyard and found that the pavement was made of glass- beneath the glass there were bones. I looked around me for a clue.

London is set up as a series of puzzles. The answer is not supposed to be easy but may always be worked out by using the clues available. If I were to be you in London right now I could stand on any corner and find something to point out to you. It may be a statue, a carving or a symbol. These statues are always placed either very high or very low so that they are invisible unless one is looking for them.

I looked around for clues and ahead of me there was the head of a giant fish, with sharp teeth and spectacles. I approached the fish and saw that it contained water and some salamanders swimming back and forth.
Above the fish there was a clock- with the numbers reversed. In order to read the time it was necessary to place my head within the fish and read the clock as a reflection on the water. It was only then that I understood. Take the day, it said.

Passing on, I found a passageway that was lined with penny coins. It narrowed so that I had to climb out through a hole- finding myself on the banks of the Thames. Here there were more clocks- moon clocks, metric clocks, tide clocks.

I walked along the river for a while. London is a city of parks and festivals as well as puzzles. The perfume of the flowers drifted across the city making my head spin. I could hear a peacock and a man playing bagpipes.
Looking across the river I could see the places I had visited- and the places I had not. These last few years I have aimed at visiting at least three attractions every week. It struck me that I would never see this city. It is so fantastically diverse and vast that no single person could ever do so. I walked along the river for a while, passing yet another free festival.

I stood still and my head spun with the richness of it all. It was a peculiar sensation as if the human mind were unable to process all the different sounds and smells and possibilities that were being thrown at it. I felt that I were about to pass out with sheer happiness. My heart burst with love for the city- and a sadness that I would never know all that it wished to show me.

Saturday. An easy job- waiting for some contractors to come who had already canceled. There were two of us so we each spent some time walking around. The site was in Piccadilly and I was determined to have another of those heart bursting spiritual orgasms that only London can give.

There are a number of factors that must be present before this can happen.

1) There must be an element of the unexpected and of exploration.

2) It must be spontaneous. No show has ever done it for me.

3) It must teach me something about life.


I walked down to Trafalgar Square, there is generally some public event held there each weekend. There was- but I needed something spontaneous. Walking back to St James park I came across various cavalry regiments marching in perfect step behind a brass band. How do you make a horse march? Their hoofs were in perfect time.

But... this would not do. There was no discovery to be had here.

I walked into Jermyn street. This is the shirt makers street. I had never been there- perhaps there was discovery here. I went into a shoe shop selling Churches shoes (the sort James Bond wears.) I put on a pair that were as shiny as volcanic glass- and something very strange happened. I understood why women become fixated upon shoes. Very often women get a sexual pleasure from their own footwear- especially items such as thigh length boots. This is usually closed to men- although many of us enjoy looking at them on women.

The woman serving me was some sort of impoverished aristocrat- and knew me better than I knew myself. She remained on her knees all the while I was talking to her and I began to enjoy this a great deal. It somehow seemed entirely natural that a woman should enjoy kneeling at my feet provided my shoes were expensive.

Very odd. But very nice.

Next I bought a cashmere jumper. I was measured by another sexy deb who seemed to realise I enjoyed it. Is this what it feels like to be rich? Finally I visited a shop selling shaving brushes. These were of real badger hair and I stroked them foolishly as if they were pet badgers while an assistant suggested that a complete shaving set would make a good family heirloom.

I could see that most of them cost about a thousand pounds but at the time it seemed a good use of the money- if I were to with the lottery. Another woman told me she could produce an individual perfume for me. She reverently sniffed at my arm while looking up at me as they do while giving blow jobs in the movies. I told her that I could not afford it so my conscience was now clear. I now have a little sample- and yes. It does reflect me well.

The pleasure of Jermyn street is that it opens female sexuality to the few men who can afford it. By this I mean that a man may be served with the same groveling servility that woman commonly receive in their normal lives. Men defer to women, open doors for them and so on. This must feel rather like being a heterosexual man in Jeymyn Street.

Secondly, it taught me that it is possible for men to experience clothing in the same sexual way that women do. Owning a pair of expensive shoes would feel powerful and sexual at the same time- much as high heeled shoes do for women.

I had made my discovery for the day and I was satisfied.

Sunday. Back to Piccadilly. Determined to have the same experience of joyful discovery that I had the day before- but it had to be unplanned or it would not work.

I walked along Shaftsbury Avenue, wondering at the tourists, photographing everything. Seeing nothing. Soho lies on the left side and Seven Dials to the right. Some transvestite nuns were parading on one side, the Falum Gong (a Chinese religious group) on the right.

Nothing new.

Seven Dials was amazing- Buddhist monks, witches and food.

Nothing new.

Covent Garden. Opera, buskers and a the Jubilee Market. I was given a roasted beetle as a gift by a stranger.

I met another true believer, a Brazilian man who lived hand to mouth in the belief that London would feed him if only he loved it sufficiently.

On the way back I saw an art gallery/cafe for slaves and masters. I bought a coffee and sat there trying to look worldly wise. To my horror a bearded man walked across to my table. Help! He wants me to whip him!

Fortunately he gave me a leaflet and left. It was a poem he had written about this mother who had died of lung cancer. On the bottom there were contacts of people who help people to quit smoking.

This was my moment of discovery. We are all trying to deal with our pasts, and helping others to heal as well. Even damaged people are groping towards the light in their own ways.

Muslim girls

I have always found Muslim girls easier to talk to, more confident, and less prickly than any other variety who were born in the UK.

If they are Muslims in name only then there is generally very little difference- the optimum level of Islam for a sensible conversation seems to be a covered head but a bare face. The fully covered ones live a life that is so separate from my own that they may as well live on the moon.

I have often wondered why this is and think it may be because many western women feel uncomfortable with their state of permanent sexual display. It brings them power but there are times when they may wish to create a distance between themselves and the men around them.

The only way she is able to do this is by being rude. A modestly dressed woman on the other hand feels far more able to be friendly and relaxed with men because her clothing is not constantly signalling sexual availability.

Is it purely money?

It is possible to be happy almost anywhere in this world.

It is just that it is more likely in some places than others. Most men need money, respect, some degree of security and, yes, a relationship.

Many of us in the west have become hardened and deny that we need women for anything at all. Well... the population is falling so the next generation need us to sort this problem even if we do not need to do so ourselves.

We need to find a place where the odds are in our favour.

The fact is that Western men carry prestige and respect almost everywhere- apart from our own countries.

Now, imagine that you are in this Colombian bar.

Why are these three Shakira's interested in you?

Is it purely money? Do they want you to pay for sex with dollars and a passport?

Or are there more honorable reasons. What might they be?

1) You are interesting. You have seen things and places they have only seen at the cinema.

2)You offer free language practice.

3) English men have a good reputation most places (with the exception of Russia for some reason).

4) They feel protective of you! Columbia is dangerous.

5) They assume that you are massively intelligent.

You may go a long time before a Western woman will really talk to you- I mean talk to you as if your answers were important. This is because our culture humiliates us and women are not interested in men who are humiliated. Traveling gives us the mystery and prestige we lack at home- some men use this for sexual adventure while others find that they can have genuine conversations with women for the first time. This would be my own choice.

There is a place in the world where you can have all the ingredients of happiness. A relationship, children, respect. Furthermore it is possible to walk into a good job simply because one is a foreigner.
There is less money- but this is less important than one might think.

The World between the Worlds

As a child I was a great fan of CS Lewis and the Narnia books (the Christian subtext passed me by at the time). In one of the books there was a world known as the World between the Worlds- this was a silent place, a sort of crossroads from which it was possible to travel between an infinite number of worlds.
I had an experience that reminded me of this world during my divorce. It did not (unfortunately) involve magic lions or talking beavers but in its own way was a transforming and moving experience. It was also the day that the matriarchy almost got me.
It was one of those fantastically quiet and bright days when even the grass and the trees seemed to be waiting for something to happen. There was no wind and only a slight mist to obscure the crisp sunlight. This gave everything an unreal air as if it were nothing but a painted backdrop.
I was depressed at the time, and yet even my own spirits were raised a little by this day. It was a day of possibilities, of new beginnings.
I was exhausted to the core of my bones. I had given every ounce of my strength into maintaining a relationship with a woman who was becoming more and more ill. I had been denied proper sleep for many months due to the constant dramatics and had also become overwhelmed by the chaos that she brought into every aspect of my life- all of which had to be dealt with by me as she was completely irresponsible.
Finally things were looking up. She had assaulted a police officer and was on the run from the police for a while in relation to another offence. Furthermore she had been placed on list 99 due to a series of sexual assaults upon children of both sexes. Unfortunately the removal of immediate danger was the signal for my body to collapse into a deep state of exhaustion. She was able to obtain legal assistance to launch a whole series of legal attacks that had only one real purpose- to cause expense. I was denied any legal advice or representation and had to discover the law myself.
This was because I was on a low wage and therefore unable to pay for a lawyer while she was refusing to support herself in the hope this would increase her divorce settlement.
I therefore had to face experienced lawyers without even knowing the law- all while suffering a serious illness.
It was on one visit to the county court when I had my ‘world between the worlds’ experience. I wandered into the wrong area of the courtroom where men were waiting to pay fines for minor criminal offences. The atmosphere here was almost festive. The majority of the men there (almost all were men) seemed to be career criminals. They swapped stories about prison and their latest adventures. Suddenly this began to seem attractive.
Matriarchy offers men a devils bargain. It offers freedom from responsibility, casual sex without parental responsibilities and relieves the man of any duty to behave as a man. This can be very attractive if life has kicked you in the guts and you are rolling on the floor in pain. The downside is that it steals your soul- all the strong and decent qualities that make up a man and a father.

The matriarchy invites self pity. It tells you it is OK to be weak, to cry and live off others. The only real crime is to judge another person.
Matriarchy destroys men. It makes us criminals- but it relieves us of responsibility as it does so. I came very close to joining the matriarchy that day. I stood outside of the courthouse for a long time, feeling the silence of that silver morning, feeling myself free to take whatever course I chose.
One of the ways in which Maria had managed to abuse me was to turn my ‘patriarchal’ sense of right and wrong against me. She had me rescuing her even as she dragged me to hell. It was tempting to release myself from all right and wrong and simply go with the flow. Right and wrong were simply not factors a family court takes into account. The family court system in the UK runs a ‘no fault’ divorce system while at the same time blaming the man for everything. Wherever we see feminism we also see the death of right and wrong. It seemed to me as I stood there that I had simply been the fall guy for feminism and that my sense of ethics were nothing but a weakness. Perhaps I should become a criminal if this is what the feminist state rewards?

I am not sure how long I stood there, but I remember saying to myself ‘let me do the right thing.’ Shortly after this I filed my papers and went home.

In fact I did decide to remain within the patriarchy. I supported myself and dragged myself from depression through strength of will. I even fought my divorce on the grounds of right and wrong- even though feminism has abolished it.

And I won.

Sometimes I wonder if that thing that I said to myself ‘let me do the right thing’ was in fact a prayer to the God I do not believe in.
I have no idea where the strength came from. Perhaps the patriarchal God replied.
Sometimes people change when they finally admit to themselves that they lack the strength to do anything for themselves. From that day onwards I have worked to loosen the claws and hooks that the matriarchy embedded deep within me. Each time I do this I become stronger, more decent, more moral. More of a Man.
Perhaps I will pray more often.

Be bored with yourself!

If you want to be mentally healthy you should aim to be bored....

Bored, not with life but with yourself!

Every unhealthy person I have ever met is absolutely fascinated with their own neurosis- while every truly healthy person is fascinated with life.

You may argue that this is because unhealthy people have such large problems they must obsess upon them in order to 'deal' with them but everyone had a difficult childhood. The difference is that unhealthy people take refuge in their unhappiness. It is the most interesting thing in their lives.

Life is hard. We should accept this and take pleasure when we can.

Once we obsess upon what is wrong with us, we are lost. Suffering is natural- it is life that needs to be adjusted and not the individual!

What the Peacock teaches.

Have you ever looked at a peacock and compared him to the rather drab peahen he tries so hard to impress? In almost all birds we find the same thing- the male is both more brightly coloured and more vocal than the female.

Why should this be? Both sexes are programmed by nature to pass their genes in to the next generation.

Surely this would motivate both peacocks and peahens equally?

Actually, no. It would not.

Peacocks and Peahens mate under sort of matriarchal system. The male contributes little to the next generation except exciting sex. The chicks are supported by their mother.

This means that mating is a cost free activity for the male. It is interesting that human beings do not use the same reproductive strategy. In fact it is usually the female who has the more elaborate mating strategy- which is hugely unusual and the opposite to all other primates other primates.

One reason may be that human beings pair bond- often for life. It is therefore worthwhile for the female to attract the right kind of mate.

What is self crippling?

Throughout history upper class women have demonstrated their status through self mutilation- either physical or mental as a means of demonstrating their superior status. This is always most marked in societies where a sizable minority were able to live without doing any sort of productive work. Self crippling 'works' as a status symbol because it demonstrates that the women who engages upon it is one of the few in her society who can make it through life in this crippled state because no work will ever be required of her.
One of the best known examples of this is the binding of women's feet in China. This was only found among upper class women and was a way of telling the world that she would never have to do any work.

In present day African tribal societies we see women who are unable to walk due to forced feeding. We also see plate lipped women and women with stretched necks that can no longer hold their heads upright without artificial support. This extreme form of body modification seems to be associated with static societies with fixed class systems. We see less extreme versions in our own culture but the class content remains the same. The higher we go within our own society the more women modify their bodies. Nevertheless the daughter of a dot com millionaire could never indulge herself to the same extent as an European aristocrat (some of whom had ribs removed - without anaesthetic! This is because her family has probably come from nothing and may return there at any time.

It is interesting that when Mao outlawed the binding of feet it was part of a campaign to outlaw class privilege and not to defend women from the evil Patriarchs as is commonly believed.
In Europe we saw the rise of a hereditary aristocracy and with it a new wave of self crippling. No privileged lady would ever leave the home unless there was a gentleman on hand with his smelling salts. She would hide from the sun to preserve her pale skin (which carried status because it proved she did not work in the fields like the majority of women in this period). From time to time she would pass out and a gentleman would revive her.
By the late Victorian period there was a great medical debate about the supposed super fragility of women. One school of thought believed that the womb moved about of its own accord. Another believed that the cause was a psychological disturbance also coming from the womb (the origin of the word Hysteria). Strangely, neither group seemed to notice that only women of a particular class were affected. It was common for working class women to work in mines during this period without fainting fits or the 'vapors' as they were sometimes called. Mining was more demanding work in 1850 than it is today- and yet women are now banned from mining as it is too demanding. Are we to assume that women have become more fragile in the last century and a half- or have women realised that fragility pays?
As society has developed, self crippling has taken different forms- and has gradually worked its way down the social scale with increasing prosperity. In 1800 self crippling was limited to a tiny minority or aristocrats. By 1900 we had fainting daughters of industrialists. By 1920 the self crippling craze had reached the upper middle class. This was the age of Psychoanalysis which allowed anyone with money it to spend years in introspection and recovery. We see from Freud's casebooks that the majority of his cases were wealthy young women with too little to do. One male patient was sent to Vienna train station to carry bags for passengers there. This helped his mental state greatly as it took him outside of himself and made him realise that life was bigger than himself. Unfortunately female patients did not get the same excellent advice. Perhaps Freud believed that it was more normal for women to obsess upon themselves than it is for men.
From the 1920's to now we see the relentless rise of therapy and pop psychology- particularly for women. Where women were previously physically self crippled they now engage in a form of psychological self crippling. These women are always in recovery from something- and yet they never leave it entirely behind.
Therapy has a degree of status among women. Nearly all women in our culture aspire to it. Those on low income will read about themselves in women's magazines with names such as 'Self' and 'Woman'. Those who can afford a therapist will do so.
We would expect the mental health of the nation to increase with all the attention placed upon it but the opposite is happening. All the indicators of unhappiness are increasing. Suicide, clinical depression and irrational killing sprees are all increasing more or less in line with our interest in ourselves.
It seems that self crippling has finally reached working class women. In 1800, only an aristocrats wife could be fragile and neurotic. By 1920, middle class housewives could discuss and compare their neurosis with one another at dinner parties. Now everyone is in recovery.
Women have become so desperate for something to recover from that they have taken to inventing them. About one in twenty believe they have been abducted and sexually molested by aliens. We have also seen a revival of the medieval myth of the Incubus- a nocturnal rape demon. Another big growth area is the Illuminati who are believed to be breeding brainwashed sex slaves.
Belief in any of these things confer all of the benefits of self crippling upon the believer. They absolve her of personal responsibility and they also demonstrate her status to other women. Only a wealthy women can pay for a hypnotist to recover these supposed memories and therefore childhood trauma has become a sort of status symbol.
Self crippling can be expressed through clothing as well as artificially created mental limitations. Much of women's fashion seems designed to limit her mobility. Some high heeled shoes are nearly as effective in making it painful to walk as foot binding. Extended fingernails also make it impossible to operate a computer or carry out many other everyday tasks. Fashionable female clothing is generally restrictive of movement and has no pockets. This makes it impossible for her to carry money on a date and ensures she will not have to!
Nevertheless, women in Western culture have generally chosen to cripple themselves mentally rather than physically. The greatest of all these artificial disabilities is feminism.

Feminism offers victim hood to the masses. A hundred years ago, only the wealthy could be oppressed by their childhood trauma. Now every women can be oppressed! We have already seen that every woman will cripple herself if she can afford to do so!!

This form of self crippling has status because it is seen as middle class thing- and makes the women practically unemployable. This may seem to be a disadvantage until we remember the bound foot women of China. They demonstrated status through their inability to work. The modern feminist does the same by taking a degree in Women's studies that reduces her value to an employer. The woman from an unprivileged background therefore cannot be a feminist because she is forced to learn something useful out of necessity. In this way feminism has come to signify high status and privilege despite its destructive nature. A present day woman comes to feminism in exactly the same way that a Chinese woman once decided to bind her feet. She is exchanging utility for status. Feminism is a sort of binding of the brain.

Kate Moss in the nude.

We are on the tail end of a debate about ultra skinny size zero models in the UK. The implicit assumption throughout this debate is that this is something forced upon women by men.

Yet I have never yet met a man who finds a starving woman attractive.

There are good evolutionary reasons for this. A woman is more likely to carry a child to completion if she is healthy and therefore men will tend to prefer this in a partner.

In fact if we were in a culture that valued the opinions of men we would not have a size zero issue at all.
It is the fashion industry that created this problem because of the unrepresentative groups that work in it. These are mainly gay men (who prefer adolescent boys to women) and heterosexual former models who are jealous of the power younger models have over men.

These two groups got together and made models resemble the adolescent boys gay men find attractive- while at the same time removing the models as a threat to the female managers.

We see once again that the best friend a woman has is a heterosexual man.

All art is not equal.

PC folk sometimes claim that all culture is equal. A rap song about beating up ones girlfriend is morally equal to a symphony. They say this (I think) because they believe all people are equal and they have given up on the idea that cultures and nations can advance.

The strange thing about this 'equality' is that it is implicitly racist. Nobody should criticise the barbarity of radical Islam (they say) because liberals have decided Arabs are not capable of democracy or reasoned debate.

Last summer. The smell of wild flowers.

Last summer I was waiting at my local train station. It was heaven. The weather was perfect and the air was still.  The perfume of wild flowers and wheat fields hung in the air. Dragonflies danced and birds sung out from the churchyard.

I cannot remember being so entranced by natural beauty in my twenties- I was always so busy going somewhere. Gardens and pleasing views seem to be a middle aged thing and I am glad life has saved a few discoveries for the second half.

Your safe haven does not have to be a location. It can be a perfect moment remembered forever..

Game is a yellow canary.

In days gone by miners would take a canary with them into the mine. This was because canaries are more sensitive to noxious gasses and will die of them before a man even feels ill.

Women are very similar. They can discover character weaknesses in a man that he will never discover for himself. It is very powerful because it takes something that is very hurtful (the drama of women) and turns it into an asset for the man it is directed against.

The first thing women tan teach you is your place upon the male heirarchy.

If you are an Alpha- then women are a delight.

If you are a Beta- then women are romantic but not sexual. They see you as a provider or a good friend and taxi driver.

If you are an Omega- then you are invisible or treated with contempt.

I have spent some time looking at the way women behave towards me. I believe they see me as not sufficiently masculine and will sometimes tear into me with unprovoked attacks for this reason. This is entirely unjustified but I have been able to learn from it nevertheless.

I have a tendency to avoid conflict and a tendency not to complete things. I can now resolve within myself- not for their benefit but my own.